Onward

8/17/2019 830am
Feeling like I have a lot less to say today. Feeling like a lazy day. My plans are to sort clothes, ots of sitting! My hormones are out of control, I feel like a teenager. She put her head on my shoulder and  told me she holds back a lot from touching me. I know our love...I remember it...again.
I'm trying not to focus on that. The forgetting. I'm trying to hold on to what I feel; it's not hard to.
900am
I just found our vows. It would do me good to read them once a week.
1115pm
Well today went well. I ran out of time, but I got most of my shit done. At least I started sorting clothes. I found the vows in an empty journal we were supposed to pass back and forth. I wrote innit last week and decided to put my hormonal thoughts into words. She asks about my fantasies and I respond with dunno. So I wrote down what I was thinking about. I decided I didn't want her to read it unless we were going to be intimate. I dropped off the 4yo early and was hoping to spend some time with Lucy when I got home from my meeting. Right before my meeting she called and asked about the text about dinner I sent. Then she said I want some alone time with you!
Meeting went well, I got invited out, but declined. My sponsor pressured me to, but I had made plans.
What a night. We talked about our days and then after we talked about us. She told someone at school that I'm doing everything right. She said she wants to believe, but doesn't want to get hurt. I told her that everdaybcould be like this and I would still respect the six months. She fell asleep when to went to get the 4yo. I saw a biker lay his bike down and stopped for a half hour. I really wanted to continue to talk to her. We had over two hours together. Two really good hours. Two of the best hours.
Remember how I said I always get what I want?  I want this more than anything.