Day 1

8/13 9am
My stomach is full of butterflies. I'm bot sure I  even want to get out of bed. I want to start my day, but I also want to hide under the blankets and dream about last week. I want to cry. I just got these feelings back, why did I take so long? Why did I wait until the last minute? Story of my life. I'm changing that. Trying to do and not wait. The 4yo is awake now. So I dont have a choice.
945am
I just did something for the first time. I tapped into God's strength. I read somewhere that God will give us strength when we have none. So I asked, and now I have the strength to face my day, moments after I felt I could barely make toast without crying.
6pm
Ugh, I just spent the last hour and a half agonizing for no reason. If I text her and school is out at 430 so it unreasonable to assume I'd get a text around then? Yes I think. She is overloaded because she works hard and she probably hangs out for a bit smoking and chatting afterward. I'm going to set 6 as the time I begin to freak out, but I will get less of it in the future. Off to a meeting.
930pm
So much sexual energy. We're both showering (separately) and getting ready. Friends do this she says. Friends look I say. I say wanna kick it? She says is that like Netflix and chill? Yes. I'm not serious, well I am, but let's at least wait until the second night. How can I feel so pent up after being with her all week.
When I got home we sat and talked for at least a half hour, mostly about our days, mine went back to our relationship. She said the morning was hard. Everytime I ask about someone at school I feel like in prying. The barbers feel like I'm accusing her, but really, I just want to know about her life. Where was this when she started school? I mean I wanted to listen, but I never asked questions.
She seems to be doing good. Smiling. That makes it worth it.