D Day

8/12
10pm
I guess D-day is a bad name for this post. I am not defeated. Scared, but I'm not defeated. I actually want it to happen now. The anticipation is twisting me up. She's going out with friends tomorrow, friends I dont know. That's really twisting my gut. I'm glad it's all happening at once. I need ot to start so I can experience it and stop worrying. I know it's going to work out things always do. I just need to focus on that. Have faith. Work my program. Trust in the situation. Well, here she is. Our last moments for a while.
11pm
Here again. Feeling more connected and hopeful. I made a joke and she said she missed me. I'm glad I came back. I know I can do it. More confident. I just want her happy. I can have fun with her and make her smile; that's the stuff that will keep me going. Her smile, her laughter.
I fought hard to get back to this place, to wake up from my addiction induced sleep and I'm going to fight to keep myself here. Nothing worth doing is easy, and this is worth everything.